Eb and Flow

I've been here before. This whole place seemed familiar, but I've only been to a beach resort once in Hawaii. It was fun to stay for a week, but not the kind of place I'd frequent if given the means. Yet here I was once again. There was this rocky overhang on the path that wound around an artificial cove. In Hawaii, it was just a bubble of volcanic rock with a small tunnel carved out of it, as well as a portion of the side sliced off to provide a view of the resort through a waterfall. In my dream, however, it opened up into a cave.
I walked in, noticing that it was brightly lit in spite of a lack of light sources. The cave also seemed to be made of a non-igneous type, like limestone. Unusual for this part of the island. There were several paths leading deeper into the earth, and one leading off to the side that might have reached the surface. Hearing a commotion, I went down that way.
As I walked down the tunnel, I started to notice some spider webs along the sides and ceiling. It got thicker the deeper I went. Finally, it halted at a small room that opened up along the bottom, leading into the water. I could see the sun glistening from under the walls. Strangely enough, my brother was there, playing among the webs. I looked up and noticed a few black spiders with a bright red hourglass on the thorax. With that, I grabbed him by the arm and forcefully shoved him out, slapping one of the arachnids off his shoulder.
Then a solid weight settled onto my shoulders. A large piece of webbing landed right on top of me, along with a small army of the spiders. I swung my arms to shake them off, but more kept coming, threads shooting out from the walls for them to climb on towards me. I reached to my side and a sword appeared out of nowhere. I grabbed it, cutting at the threads, but they just kept coming.
When I was completely enveloped, there was darkness. Only to be replaced by the rays of the sun upon opening my eyes. I was on the beach, and was dimly aware of it being a dream. I could see my brother and my family off to the side, playing in the surf. The beach seemed to be parallel to another, as if it were part of a strait, or it could've been another island for all I knew.
There was a city on the other side past the beach. I could see a few skyscrapers gleaming in the sun, and there were a few boats floating between there and were I was. And somehow, I became aware of a presence on the other side of that strait. I didn't know who, what, or why, but it felt like someone I loved was in danger, just as my brother was earlier. Except he was safe with the rest of my family.
Even so, this feeling was so strong, I dove into the water and started swimming. Only to be pushed back to shore by a strong current. I kept swimming, pressing on as hard as I could when the waves started rising, their frequency increasing. The further I got, the stronger and more violent they became in an attempt to toss me back. I struggled onward, but could hardly make any progress. The water swelled over my head and crashed down, forcing me under. I tried to swim under, but when I came up for air, the waves swept me right back again.
I didn't give up. Just when it seemed I had made some progress towards the open water, another wave sent me under, and the current kept me there, tossing me around as if I were in a rock tumbler. I was almost out of strength, almost out of air. And as I struggled towards the surface, my lungs gave out on me. It was then that I had awakened, after only a couple of hours of sleep.

The following night, I was kept up by my little brother who needed to have a chat. I figured my dreams might involve another trip down memory lane through high school, but instead I was back at the beach. Or rather a different beach. This one had a wide blue stretch of ocean in front and a wide continent behind it. It wasn't any place I've been to before, but from the air and the sun, it was definitely California. What's more, there were a bunch of people around, lounging about on the beach, or in the waves. There were even a flock of surfers there was well.
It seemed like a nice enough day for a swim, so I dove right in. And just like the previous night, I started to get buffeted. The water rose higher, and hit hard. This time, however, I was able to keep my head up. I was never much of a swimmer, but unlike last night, I was doing some pretty decent body surfing. It felt pretty calm, particularly since I didn't feel that same sense of urgency as last time. It almost felt like I had tamed the waves when my thoughts started dwelling on the previous dream. After coasting back into the shore, I walked up the beach and picked a good spot to look things over. Whoever I was after last night, they weren't here. I guess that'll be a mystery for another night. I woke up, checked the time on my phone, and rolled right over. I was only asleep for about an hour and a half. -_-

A Raid on the Past

I was up most of the night talking to a new acquaintance. I probably could've kept talking with her until dawn. That was certainly the case with her. Just once again proving my maxim that the best girls are either taken or hundreds of miles away. There was one hiccup in our conversation after I had mentioned my father. I didn't elaborate, and thankfully she didn't press the issue. I wish I could say the same of my subconscious.
Not long after I hit the pillow, around 3:47am, I was seeing a cloudy gray sky through the window of a car. My mother and aunts were in the other seats, and we came upon the cul-de-sac that we used to live in. And there was my old house, looking much the worse for wear.
At one word from my mother we ran out of the car. My aunts and mother ran into the house, remarking at it's decrepit state. I had another target. I found the side door to the garage and picked the lock. The interior was dark and dusty. The faint lights overhead did little to help me see my way, but I saw a box on the broad platform we had at the back of the garage.
I flipped the top open and I saw my old electronic keyboard. This was something to hang on to. I pulled the box down and kept looking around. My aunt came up behind me to retrieve the keyboard and she told me to look for my trumpet. Looking around, I couldn't find the case, although did see a euphonium hanging on the wall.
The room brightened up suddenly, and out of nowhere came a bunch of little kids running around and playing. They were even outside and somehow I knew they were my father's. I ignored them, getting back to the search. I needed to grab anything of value while I still could. This wasn't my home anymore, and until I find one I'll need to hang on to whatever I can.
I opened a trunk and found a bunch of odds and ends. Mainly ancient, rusted thick iron tools. Laying on top of these was a pack of machetes, folded up in wax paper. I picked up a blade and one side was engraved with the mexican eagle, a snake in it's talon. As much as I love blades, I didn't care much for these. They were the first I handled, and a preferred tool for yard work. But these particular blades felt like the tools of a slave. I would be happy to leave the behind.
I closed the trunk and rose to my feet. I hadn't noticed before, but the garage door was open with what looked like a setting for a birthday party beyond. I looked over the cake and party favors. It was probably for the kids that were running around outside.
I walked back out of the garage into the backyard. This place hadn't changed much, the grass was still green and vibrant, the thorn bush at the door was still growing out of control. And the patio seemed as smudged and dirty as it did when I left. A little boy ran into me from the side. I looked down at him and our eyes met. He kind of reminded me of myself when I was younger. He ran off towards an adult that might have been my father and I awoke to the sounds of the TV from the living room.
I've left homes before. That one held more memories than most, some of which I've lost. I try my best to hang onto the ones that matter. I had to check soon after I got up, but I still have my trumpet. The keyboard is in storage.

The Princess Is In Another Castle

There wasn't really a princess in my dream, but I'm old enough to remember the 8-bit generation. And some parts of this dream really do remind me of those classic Mario games. Anyways, I was up until 5 am last night with a bad case of acid reflux. I should probably see the doctor about that, I might have had a decent night's sleep otherwise, but it took awhile for me to nod off.
The first thing I remember seeing is the road. I was on a motorcycle, a black cafe racer, winding in and out of traffic. The asphalt similarly winded through hills covered in dry grass, giving them a gilded look that was accentuated by the sun setting near the road's end on the horizon. Despite the speed at which I was careening around trucks and cars, I was feeling very calm, very peaceful. As if I was in my element and nothing can touch me.
Soon, I had left the traffic behind me, and the road stretched on relatively straight towards the setting sun, glowing a fiery orange in the distance. It was almost gone, barely a sliver peeping above the horizon, yet it's light still illuminated the area brightly without it being blinding to look at. Then I heard her voice.
I don't know who it belonged to, or where it came from. I didn't have a radio on me, there wasn't a passenger, or anyone else on the road at that time. But a female voice spoke as if narrating my dream. It came from everywhere and nowhere. I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was something like. "I've waited too long. I've saved myself for a reason I can't remember. It's not worth it any more. Next time, I'll give him everything."
Those words shattered the peace I had felt up to that point. I felt a jolt of sheer panic, nearly losing control of the bike before steadying myself. I could feel my heart crack with those words, but I steeled myself. Whatever happens next, I must be ready for it.
I wasn't ready for what happened next. I rode on until night fell, and the road ended in front of a stereotypical stone castle, with towers framing the front gate. It looked like a casting call for the next harry potter movie. A bunch of high schoolers in capes and uniforms swarmed in and out of the gates. And as I entered, many were walking down the halls toward what looked like classrooms.
I hadn't noticed at the time, but I know where this part of the dream comes from. On a lark, I had went to see a midnight showing of the latest harry potter flick with my sister. The entry room of the castle looked just like the entrance to the movie theater. Which explains all the cosplayers. Except where the concession stand was, there were a quartet of large wooden doors with velvet ropes stretched across them.
I took the hall to my right and peeked into a few classes. The first one, much to my surprise, had my old religion teacher, guiding the class in the basics of fortune telling. I think I know where that came from as well.
I was notorious in my religion class for not paying attention. It was when I was going through my angsty agnostic phase, and I cared little for the class. Still, it wasn't for lack of trying. She wanted the class to read a passage from the old testament together, but I got bored and skipped ahead, after which I stared out the window or doodled or something. Of course, that caught her attention, and she told me to open my bible and read along with the rest of the class. In the discussion afterward, she had mixed up the interpretations of the dreams and I had corrected her. She still gave me an F for that day.
I walked further along the corridor, which was lined along the ceiling and walls with a dark wood, and at the end, hit a trap door. I don't remember falling, it was more like I was teleported into a pitch black cellar. I felt a moistness in the air, it definitely felt like I was underground.
I crept along, using my hand against the wall to guide me to a passageway lined on both sides by pistons, which were illuminated in the darkness by intermittent flashes of spark and flame from beyond them. Their steel joints would jut out into the corridor with each pulse, creating a gauntlet before me.
I crouched low and broke out into a sprint, using small quick steps to avoid being hit. I had reached the end when a gout of flame burst from my left side, and I leaped over to the right to avoid it, landing on a type of flat cart. Reaching up along it, my hands grasped a set of handlebars like on my bike earlier when a motor rumbled to life beneath me. I barely had time to register this in my mind when it surged forward, and I found myself going headlong into another dark tunnel along with it.
I tried to steady it with the handlebars, bit it was still a wild ride. The tunnel opened up into a small dimly lit room, and I turned as hard as I could to avoid the wall up ahead. I could feel the underside of the cart scrape it as I pulled it around in a tight turn.
I had to stand, if only to regain my bearings. The air was a lot cooler here, and moist. I saw a faint glow coming from another running perpendicular to the one I had just left. And from there came a low grumbling sound, as if from an immense animal. At first, I thought it was an echo, but then I realized the sounds were coming from multiple mouths. In my mind, I envisioned the guardian of the underworld, Cerberus. My next challenge, perhaps?
I climbed onto the cart once more and grasped the handle bars firmly. I've always wanted to see if I was a match for a legend. Defeating such a beast sounded like fun. I opened up the throttle and the cart streamed into the tunnel. The glow started to get brighter. As I sped along, the right wall of the tunnel opened up to reveal a river of a bright amber liquid, swiftly flowing in an underground cavern.
I suddenly lost control of my vehicle and it gave a great lurch, flying out to the river taking me along with it. It skipped along the surface like a stone flung by a child. After the third skip, I jumped off onto the bank of the river before the cart started to sink. Despite the swiftness of the liquid, my ride sunk slowly, as if in molasses. Glad I wasn't going down along with it.
I followed the river upstream, and it led to some stone steps, above which were a set of four wooden doors. One opened up, and a fat bald guy in a starry wizard's costume came out. Looking beyond him showed the doors to be the same ones I've seen earlier. I came full circle.
He waddled past me, down towards the river and out of sight. I walked up, and to my left was another large wooden door with a thick red carpet leading up to it. My feet sank an inch into it as I walked up to the door. It had a large brass ring that was weathered with age. It still felt pretty solid as I hefted it and gave the door a tug. As it slowly opened, so did my eyes, and I found myself in bed with a very stiff neck.
I wonder what Tex would think of this.

Fighting Old Battles

I was in some kind of tall narrow maze. I don't know how or why I was in there, but the walls and ceiling were made of a gray stone. What's more, it was wet in some parts, with moss growing over and between the individual stones. There were also some patches worn away along the top of the maze, allowing for sunlight to shine through, enough to illuminate the whole path. The floor was a soft clay like earth.
Eventually, I made my way to a brown archway. There was a path leading beyond it, but something on the wall glistened, beckoning me over. A few of the stones had an almost liquid sheen that faded in and out of its' surface. When I touched it, it felt like a kind of plastic film before it phased back into the rock. It seemed to undulate like a piece of gelatin.
I remember reading in a tutorial for DromEd that one should build around the coordinates 0,0,0. And that anomalies may develop if it was left open. But this is a dream, not a level editor for Thief II. Still, I'm going to keep this in mind for a stage if I ever get the hang of the program.
Turning around, I suddenly found myself elsewhere. I was in a hallway of a hospital type building. The walls could've been white once upon a time, but they've been yellowed by age. The yellow parquet flooring squeaked underfoot as I entered a doorway into a white room with pipes leading around the walls and into the floor.
I was startled by a sudden shuffling behind me. Passing by in the hall were a number of men in blue jumpsuits, the same kind of clothing I found myself in when I came here. I felt like asking, but somehow I knew the answer already. They were inmates. And whatever this place was, I was a prisoner as well.
That revelation didn't have much of an effect on me. I grabbed a nearby cart and started heading to the laundry room with it. And that's where this dream started to get really weird. I was passing by a window in the hallway when a storm swirled outside. A white tornado came up and tore the window from it's pane, the glass and wood disappearing into the vortex, leaving behind a gaping hole in the wall.
There was a bright white light emanating from the eye of the storm, and from there emerged someone that looked like she was straight out of a kung-fu movie. Her black outfit had a floral print on it, with dark green trousers underneath. Dreams fade, and I can't remember her face (seriously, why this part of the dream escapes my memory more than the rest is something I can't understand), but she seemed happy to see me. I was certainly happy to see her.
She grasped my arm, pulling me from the building, and threw me over to a nearby, grassy hilltop. I landed lightly on my feet and she walked up beside me, the storm dissipating behind her. As soon as I thanked her, she took my hand and started off in a run, saying there was somewhere we had to be.
The elation I felt upon leaving that place was quickly replaced with disquiet and dread. As we ran on, the ground was scorched in some places with columns of smoke rising in the distance. Eventually, we came to an area fenced off with barbed wire and chain link. The fence was half collapsed, but beyond were a number of smoldering tents and dead bodies were strewn about everywhere.
She released my hand and gripped the fence hard. The last words she uttered before disappearing was "They'll pay". I had no idea who they were, but I can certainly understand her anguish. I felt it in myself before a sudden awareness took it's place. Looking past a hill to my left, I saw a large white castle cast in an orange glow from the sunset. That was my next destination.
I passed through the gate and into a large chamber holding a pair of wide stairs that led to an upper level. I was about to ascend when the gate closed behind me, trapping me in. Looking back, I caught a glimpse of an armored figure running by, dragging a long polearm along the bars. The clanging rang throughout the castle, indeed, it seemed to come from everywhere at once. The shape of the weapon immediately brought to mind the legend of the Green Knight.
A voice called my name and I looked up to see my sister descending the stairs. She was carrying a bundle in her arms that I knew to be my little brother. In this dream, he was only a baby still. She had a frightened look on her face. What's more, the sounds of the figure before grew louder. I pointed into the hallway between the stairways and told her to run. As soon as she was gone, I ran up the stairs to face whatever was chasing her.
To my right, I could still see the sun had a way to go before setting. The whole place was bathed in orange light and shadow. Not the best conditions for a fight, but one perhaps I could use to my advantage. When I got to the top, I heard footsteps. I followed them, and looked down the second stairway to see someone charging up the steps polearm in hand. Without the armor on, I could plainly see who it was.
I lowered my stance, grasping the weapon from it's hilt as it swung overhead. Using his speed and mass against him, I rolled back, kicking him up and over with my legs. He went flying, and I retained possession of the weapon. In the past, his anger had made him an ogre in my mind, with all the strength and rage of a giant. A concept that my subconscious seems to have held onto. My father was never this tall, or beefed up, but despite the imposing figure before me I felt no fear. I was way past fear.
I dropped the weapon and ran towards him, my fist readied at my side for the first blow. He jumped into the air, blocking out the sun as he fell towards me, readying a strike of his own. He missed. Grasping his arm, I flung him to the ground and started pummeling him with my fist, keeping him restrained with my other hand. He was starting to wriggle free from my grasp when the sound of an opening door met my ears, and I turned my head around to see who had arrived.
I turned my head around on my pillow to see my aunt coming out of the bathroom. My shoulders strained in protest at the sudden shift in position. And by that time, I was too awake to go back to sleep. This last dream seemed more vivid than others. And a lot more jumbled. I'm tempted to ask someone, but then I already know I'm crazy. As to the girl, I don't know if she's the same one I've been dreaming about before, but if I ever remember, I wouldn't be too surprised if she were.

A Strange Sort Of Walkabout

Sleep never comes easy for me. It's been more difficult as of late with family staying over. Especially since I'm left to the couch, which isn't a foldout one. I tossed and turned for a few hours before falling asleep. Maybe the heat had something to do with the dream.
The first thing I remember was walking along a path cut through a vast landscape of short dry grass stretching out for miles. There were some sparse hills as well, though they weren't very tall. I walked along this path for awhile before I came to a white three story house. Looking down the path, there were three or four others just like it, before the path curved over to the right.
I was looking for someone. I've no idea who, but I had an image of someone in my mind which has since faded. She lived in one of the houses, I didn't know which. But somehow as I passed them, I knew she wasn't there.
The path led to a park, where the grass was green and a pair of trees shaded some tables. It continued up a hill to a small parking lot. Passing through, I came up to an industrial area, with large metal warehouses and factories lining the streets. There was a chevron gas station alongside one of them, and the thought came to my mind that she works at a chevron, but this wasn't it. It was closed anyways.
As I walked further along the street, the scenery changed from heavy industry to one made up of smallish shops, like in a neighborhood. The next intersection has another gas station, again a chevron. This was the one she worked at, though how I knew, I had no idea.
Walking in, I made a pass around the candy bar rack and picked out a pack of gum. There was no one behind the counter, but as I approached, a small asian guy came out from a back room to ring up my purchase. He looked kind of like Mako. Sounded like him too. I had thought to ask, but looking around, I knew she wasn't there. And it was time to move on.
I figured I should make my way back to the houses, I might perhaps see her on the way there. I walked back the way I came, but as I passed the first gas station, I seemed to have gotten a little lost. I soon came upon a school that reminded me of Glendale Community College with how the buildings were arranged on the hill, but they had the mascot and letters of USC emblazoned on them. George Lucas went to USC film school. I wondered why that thought came to mind right then.
There were a lot of students coming to and fro and around the buildings. Some of them were going up and down a path to the left. Looking on, it seemed like it would lead back past the park. And it did, but it first lead to a large gully or ravine. I'm surprised I didn't notice it before, but it ran parallel to the park and connected to the path.
As I stepped into the shadows, I became aware of voices jabbering in some indecipherable tongue. I felt a brief stab of panic when I realized they were speaking spanish, and I had woken up to the sounds of my relatives walking past me into the kitchen. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, and I did for a few minutes. Though I didn't dream, all I accomplished was to put my arm to sleep. Once I got some feeling back, I lay there until the bathroom was free. A cold shower felt great in this heat.

A bit late on the updates.

But I've had a lot on my mind, and dreams are hard enough to remember as it is. Still, there are a few that still ring in my mind. Some not so clear, others I can stand to forget.
To start off with, the first night I spent in Hawaii, I immediately called dibs on the fold out bed in the living room, and drifted blissfully off to sleep in solitary peace. I don't remember much of that dream, except that it started off like a camera panning down through a kind of a futuristic city. The walls and structures built into it were reminiscent of the forerunner constructs in Halo, with that same bluish glow along the walls. The place was like a massive apartment complex.
Soon the "camera" panned through a window into one of the apartments. It looked pretty typical, kind of a Pueblo style architecture inside, which didn't exactly clash with the exterior, but didn't really compliment it either. It was strange to see all the same, especially the adobe petroglyphs on tiles mounted in rows along the white wall.
There were a few guys in black pin stripe suits and fedoras standing around. I think they were even wearing spats. One had a black gun pointed at me, and he told me to translate the symbols rather sternly. I looked around, not seeing a good chance to escape or fight, so I looked to the tiles on the wall trying to make some sense of them.
As I looked on, some of the tiles seemed to almost pop out at me, and some kind of message made it self known in my mind. One tile in particular came close, and one of the suits said "He's doing that Da Vinci Code thing again". I don't recall doing so before, and I feel I can write better than Dan Brown any day of the week, but my vexation at that comment evaporated as the tile of concentric squares came up to me. It was the letter J.
My cell phone went off right next to my face. I had set it early so I could get up in time for the flight. Guess I forgot to turn off the alarm once we got here. The sun wasn't even up, and the room was nearly pitch black. Surprisingly, I had no trouble rolling over and going back to sleep. I didn't have any more dreams that I can remember, but now that I think about it, I'm going to take a look at an old computer game. Those symbols reminded me of the handbook to The Land of the Green Isles. Extra points if you know what that refers to.

The next dream is as close to a nightmare as I've had in awhile. Fear is something I've been quite familiar with as a child. These days I don't feel it as much as I probably should. Even a dream that would otherwise be quite frightening.
I was back at my old house. We did some remodeling on it to add a laundry room and an office to the back. We would occasionally have a grandparent or aunt live with us for a time, so the back office would be converted to a bedroom for me or I would share it with my brother.
The dream took place during one of these periods as I can see my bed along the wall by the door, my brother's by the window, and a desk with the computers across from my bed. And right on my bed was an old laptop my father used for work. When he left it home, I used to practice cracking my way in and I'd play around with it. Descent II was one of my favorite games on there, but instead of a game, it displayed a jagged wave pattern in a vivid red, like on an oscillator screen.
Suddenly I felt a stabbing pain throughout my entire body. It felt like I was struck by lightning, the worst of it stabbing like a needle into my brain. I could feel my muscles constricting, yet I was forced to stretch out my limbs. I was standing as if I froze in the middle of a jumping jack, and a voice came from the laptop saying I was under it's control.
You'd figure at this point I'd start to feel a bit scared. Even a little bit. But rather I was pissed. Yet for all the rage and fury in me, I could strain as much as I want, but my body wouldn't respond, seemingly moving on it's own while the voice on the laptop taunted me for my inability to control myself. It even had me spin around like a top for a few moments.
Suddenly I stopped, and my body almost fell through the door. Instead of the laundry room, I emerged in a room bathed in blue light, rather like the dream I had back in Hawaii. The place definitely looked like something out of a sci-fi movie, or game. I found myself at the top of a short series of steps. And to my left, sitting just a few feet away, was a familiar looking sight.
I never expected to see her again. I still don't know who she is, she didn't offer a name this time either. Though instead of jeans and a sweat shirt, in this dream she was wearing a flowing white gown. I could still feel my muscles strain as I made my way towards her. I wasn't under complete control, but wherever I was, I could fight whatever was influencing my motions. The pain was nearly gone, and it felt like walking through a swimming pool.
She looked up at me and shook her head, saying something like, "I see you're having a little trouble". I can't remember exactly, but she said something like that, and in a playful, almost teasing tone, with a smile to match. I didn't mind a little teasing from her. I said something, called her something, a name, a title, I can't remember. But she nodded, told me to expect some pain, and that I'll have to keep fighting.
She reached out to me, splaying her fingers before grasping the top of my head. Then she seized it in a vice-like grip, causing a searing pain to spread through me. I swore I could feel the ridges of my brain pressing against my skull with the pressure. The feeling didn't go away when she released me, it felt just like the original jolt that caused me to be controlled in the first place. But it had the opposite effect, allowing me to move my own body again.
She turned away from me, telling me to go back and fight once more before raising a hood over her head and walking down the steps. There was a flash of white and I was back in my room. The laptop still displayed the jagged red oscillator image, and the voice mocking my return. I could feel it trying to seize control over my body, and I resisted. Through the pain, I was able to hold it off when the image of a cell phone came to mind. I was still puzzled by that thought when I woke up, seeing the alarm on my phone had gone off in front of my face again.
"Demons!"
That was what she said when I had told her about this dream. Green-eyes had read a book from her boyfriend on the subject, and apparently what I had described, the feeling of a malevolent force controlling ones body, is a symptom of demonic possession. Then again, her boyfriend is a weirdo that actually worshiped demons, apparently. That might make him knowledgeable, but it also makes him a grade A nutjob in my eyes. She sure knows how to pick 'em... I'd just as soon chalk it up to a strange bout of sleep paralysis.
However, I didn't tell her about the girl. She's shown up twice before in my dreams, and each time she's something of an enigma. And I still haven't figured out what role she's supposed to play in my sub conscious, if any. The only other example of a recurring character I've had in the past was my Gray Maiden. Could she be a replacement, perhaps?
I never could understand women...

Another Old Regret?

I didn't get much sleep last night. I spent most of it tossing and turning. It must have been around 5am when I finally fell asleep.
What dreams I had, I can scarcely remember. One scene, however, stands out starkly in my mind. I came home to an empty house, as the rest of the family had gone out to dinner without me. Not an uncommon occurrence back when I was working. I'm not above cooking for one, but in this dream I decided to go out to eat.
The restaurant wasn't much more than a white booth with a kitchen inside and some tables outside, covered in checkered plastic tablecloths. The kitchen staff was entirely latino, as it can be in these parts. They responded to my order in spanish, and spoke among themselves in that language.
Looking back, there was a young man with black rimmed glasses sitting at one of the tables. I didn't have to be told to know he was my half-brother. How I knew was something I didn't understand. There were no introductions. I sat down next to him and he asked me about our father. He wanted to know what kind of man he was.
So I told him. He wasn't fazed at all, a smirk appearing on his face. It reminded me of my father's, and I felt a strong inclination to punch him. I can't remember at all what happens next. We sat and talked some more, but I cannot remember the words or anything about what was said next before I woke up.
What disturbs me most about this dream is, a few years ago, my mother was approached by a woman. She allegedly had a daughter with whatshisface, which would make her my half-sister. Apparently she wanted to meet my siblings and I. My mother turned her away. I had the feeling she struggled with herself over whether to tell us or not, but she had in the end. She made her feelings quite clear, that we're all the family we need and didn't need anyone else. She asked us if we really wanted to meet with any of his other children. My sister answered in the negative right away, speaking for all of us. I had my reservations, but I knew it would only upset my mother, so I kept quiet.
Still, it bothered me for awhile. I had a half-sister out there. How much does she know? About him? About my family? She wanted to reach out, why? I don't know if there would be anything sinister in that, though with anything concerning my father, I have to be cautious.
Hm. I just remembered almost a decade ago my mother mentioning my father possibly having another son out there as well. I don't think he would be as old as the young man in my dream, but there is the possibility that there is one out there.
I feel a strong urge to talk about this with someone. I could go to my sister, but she'll doubtless report to my mother about it as close as they are. If I'm going to do that, I may as well speak about it to both of them directly. Even so, it's not going to be a pleasant topic of discussion.
Why couldn't that bastard have just kept it zipped?